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Im depressed inside!

Right now im depressed as fuck! I dont know what im doing... the cause of this depression is a douchebag guy! I met him on the site 7cups.. it is a site where we can sign up as listener and talk to people and console.. i used to do that.. i get there and try to console and motivate people though i was the one who is always worried you know its easier to say than to be done! Well so i met this guy his nickname was nice wind.. he was from Sweden and he was so polite ..  he was quite impressive the way he talks.. seemed like a gentleman.. i secretly crushed on him.. i never saw his photos or anything but i fell for his words.. he talked so nicely.. we talked day and night for 3 days... he told me about his worries his depression and everything.. all his emotions except the thing.. he didn't say his name or his  career.. but all of a sudden on one morning the chat turned into a very bad turn.. he was rather flirting and like almost like sexting. but u know i was into him so i just flirted back but i said we have to be within the limits and dont talk inappropriately... while.. the ugly turn then happened.. we talked all shit.. and he was good at it but i was clueless how to reply so i copied stuffs from internet and replied.. well it ended well.. and satisfied but all of a sudden he asked like in a criticizing way "its surprising that u dont talk this way with other boys, but now with me" - i felt so bad and i was so upset.. he treated me like dirt it feels like.. eww he's a douchebag he gave me zero importance i understood...if he did he wouldn't have said that.. dumbass.. he meant something special for me thats why i was like that flirting with him. He was too ignorant to get me.. and i was deeply hurt and it seemed like he sees me as any random girl over internet.. for him i was nothing dumbass he's just a playboy hitting on girls.   And the saddest part is he didnt want to have any contact in future as i expected him to ask email or something.. but he didnt so he was not into me.. he was just using me thats all! I felt so down and rn i just blocked him but unfortunately then i unblocked him because if i blocked the last goodbye message will not be received by him.. i just want him to see that im hurt..  and the negative effects he brought has seriously affected me severely in my everyday life.. i was really mad at my home and was angry with parents and everyone! I just uninstalled whatsapp, shouted and fighted and emotionally abused everyone  back at home 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 and everything.. got really mad.. rn i m just writing this to calm me  down.. and idk whats next... and results will be coming up next week in really sad about it . .alll my bad deeds i showed up will be reflecting in that.  I wish atleast a pass mark.. please god i know I'm the guilty one.. but atleast forgive me..
! Why do i fall in love with random people who just show me some Caring or attention! Maybe im desperately in need of some caring.. family do that but u know im not at all in good terms with them.. so desperately lookinh for love.. but honestly i dont want to be with a play boy i just want a man!! An act of true love.. nothing else im asking for.. 😔😔
Maybe i should concentrate on career more.. u can marry and find love anytime but career and lost time wont came back! I should definitely work hard on my 2nd year onwards atleast! And now i give zero fucks to all cheaters and losers who cheated and made me cry! IM THE BEST!! THE PROBLEM WITH ME IS I DO ALL THE GOOD TO THEM BUT I NEVER GET THE RETURN! AND FUCK OFF PEOPLE!
AND IM GENUINELY SORRY MY FAMILY IM SUCH A LAME FOOL.. I SHOUTED AT U ALL TODAY.. IM SORRY SORRY JESUS.. I WAS SO PATHETIC TODAY.. WELL THAT GUY OVER INTERNET MADE ME FEEL BAD.. I HATE HIM..  HE IS THE ONE MADE ME FEEL ASHAMED AND WELL THAT MADE ME SHOUT AT MY PARENTS AND FAMILY..  IM SUCH A LOSER FOR A RANDOM GUYS OPINION IN INTERNET YOU JUST HURTED YOUR FAMILIES FEELING, ANAGHA YOU'RE SO PATHETIC!!!
YOU HAVE TO SHOW KINDNESS TO YOURSELVES AND YOUR FAMILY BEFORE RUNNING BEHIND A DUMBASS GUY..
SEE BEAUTIFUL ANAGHA.. ITS OK IT HAPPENED.. NOW U CAN'T UNDO IT.  ONLY THING IS FORGET AND MOVE ON.. HOLDING ON IT WON'T DO ANY BETTER.. AFTER SOME YEARS IF U WANT TO REACH THE PLACE U R NOW DREAMING THEN WORK HARDER AND HARDER..  MAKE YOURSELF PROUD... BEAUTIFUL SOUL..

Comments

Anonymous said…
Nice site,
Don't wear your heart on your sleeve. Internet guys are great but in my experience it's a waste of time in the long run so I avoid those situations now.
There's a lot of great guys out there that live closer to you so don't settle for someone so far away, and don't settle for a dick.

Memes always cheer me up, look at some memes and smile, beautiful.
http://www.redpillmemes.com
October 22, 2019 at 7:46 AM
Anagha said…
Thank you anonymous! I wish i could hug you and thank you! Your comment made my day random stranger.😊😊
January 14, 2020 at 11:25 AM
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