Im depressed inside!

Right now im depressed as fuck! I dont know what im doing... the cause of this depression is a douchebag guy! I met him on the site 7cups.. it is a site where we can sign up as listener and talk to people and console.. i used to do that.. i get there and try to console and motivate people though i was the one who is always worried you know its easier to say than to be done! Well so i met this guy his nickname was nice wind.. he was from Sweden and he was so polite ..  he was quite impressive the way he talks.. seemed like a gentleman.. i secretly crushed on him.. i never saw his photos or anything but i fell for his words.. he talked so nicely.. we talked day and night for 3 days... he told me about his worries his depression and everything.. all his emotions except the thing.. he didn't say his name or his  career.. but all of a sudden on one morning the chat turned into a very bad turn.. he was rather flirting and like almost like sexting. but u know i was into him so i just flirted back but i said we have to be within the limits and dont talk inappropriately... while.. the ugly turn then happened.. we talked all shit.. and he was good at it but i was clueless how to reply so i copied stuffs from internet and replied.. well it ended well.. and satisfied but all of a sudden he asked like in a criticizing way "its surprising that u dont talk this way with other boys, but now with me" - i felt so bad and i was so upset.. he treated me like dirt it feels like.. eww he's a douchebag he gave me zero importance i understood...if he did he wouldn't have said that.. dumbass.. he meant something special for me thats why i was like that flirting with him. He was too ignorant to get me.. and i was deeply hurt and it seemed like he sees me as any random girl over internet.. for him i was nothing dumbass he's just a playboy hitting on girls.   And the saddest part is he didnt want to have any contact in future as i expected him to ask email or something.. but he didnt so he was not into me.. he was just using me thats all! I felt so down and rn i just blocked him but unfortunately then i unblocked him because if i blocked the last goodbye message will not be received by him.. i just want him to see that im hurt..  and the negative effects he brought has seriously affected me severely in my everyday life.. i was really mad at my home and was angry with parents and everyone! I just uninstalled whatsapp, shouted and fighted and emotionally abused everyone  back at home 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 and everything.. got really mad.. rn i m just writing this to calm me  down.. and idk whats next... and results will be coming up next week in really sad about it . .alll my bad deeds i showed up will be reflecting in that.  I wish atleast a pass mark.. please god i know I'm the guilty one.. but atleast forgive me..

! Why do i fall in love with random people who just show me some Caring or attention! Maybe im desperately in need of some caring.. family do that but u know im not at all in good terms with them.. so desperately lookinh for love.. but honestly i dont want to be with a play boy i just want a man!! An act of true love.. nothing else im asking for.. 😔😔
Maybe i should concentrate on career more.. u can marry and find love anytime but career and lost time wont came back! I should definitely work hard on my 2nd year onwards atleast! And now i give zero fucks to all cheaters and losers who cheated and made me cry! IM THE BEST!! THE PROBLEM WITH ME IS I DO ALL THE GOOD TO THEM BUT I NEVER GET THE RETURN! AND FUCK OFF PEOPLE!
AND IM GENUINELY SORRY MY FAMILY IM SUCH A LAME FOOL.. I SHOUTED AT U ALL TODAY.. IM SORRY SORRY JESUS.. I WAS SO PATHETIC TODAY.. WELL THAT GUY OVER INTERNET MADE ME FEEL BAD.. I HATE HIM..  HE IS THE ONE MADE ME FEEL ASHAMED AND WELL THAT MADE ME SHOUT AT MY PARENTS AND FAMILY..  IM SUCH A LOSER FOR A RANDOM GUYS OPINION IN INTERNET YOU JUST HURTED YOUR FAMILIES FEELING, ANAGHA YOU'RE SO PATHETIC!!!
YOU HAVE TO SHOW KINDNESS TO YOURSELVES AND YOUR FAMILY BEFORE RUNNING BEHIND A DUMBASS GUY..
SEE BEAUTIFUL ANAGHA.. ITS OK IT HAPPENED.. NOW U CAN'T UNDO IT.  ONLY THING IS FORGET AND MOVE ON.. HOLDING ON IT WON'T DO ANY BETTER.. AFTER SOME YEARS IF U WANT TO REACH THE PLACE U R NOW DREAMING THEN WORK HARDER AND HARDER..  MAKE YOURSELF PROUD... BEAUTIFUL SOUL..