Thoughts and hopes! Dream High!

don't know if you remember, but it's been six month, do you remember when in November I didn't crack the exam, even though I said, I am not looking for anesthesia i wanted to go for something different so I'm taking a drop year, but there was feelings of worthless and internal struggle. I used to tell you everyday about problems at home, parents being sad about me or disappointed etc. and you used to tell me about your career change etc, it was a different season then. Now I feel so much emotional nostalgia, the best thing I did was taking a drop for this six months because back then i was so emotionally struggling broken girl who was trying so hard to find her worth in this world. She thought maybe a residency will bring her that.. but this six months taught me a lot... I were able to spend more time with myself, evolve , even if it's online, I found amazing study partners. Not that guy but my girl friends. They were so amazing, supportive they were like Anagha, th...

I'm just having a lot of thoughts.  How lucky I am. How considerate my parents are..  Even tho I'm not kind to them.  I do love them in my mind but I know I come off as an asshole infront of them.  I do care about them. But to face i talk very rudely to them :/ I wish I wasn't. I sometimes don't talk because whenever I talk to my mom it's in rude tone it's dominant tone. Hence to not to be harsh to her sometimes i don't talk.  The way how she spent money for me today without even looking for the price tag.. I mean I am their daughter. By the virtue of being born to them.  They have done a lot for me.  I know we aren't friends. I wish we were. I am pretty chill person. But due to the family upbringing I grew up in, it's hard for me to show my vulnerability to them. I just talk to rudely to them. In their presence i always shout to them.  Tons of things that they've done for me. I can't even recall a single time I've been like the child the...

5:49pm here, well yesterday I was staying over at molus, it was great to reconnect with her and shomma, I'll miss them when i actually leave here... Though i might seem like an asshole I value these kinds of moments, maybe when we are alive we need to value these kinds of relationships. Not that people are against me..I need to embrace people who were there for me... Well from my past, I miss samru, i wonder what he's upto.  Probably married lol, and two kids already 😂🥲. Good for him.  I miss bk and the chitchat of jeni. Sorry da. I know it's been a lot of shit but these people, and Anju, Indu, all these people were so important for me. :) But last two years were a lot of bs tbh, well i appreciate new people I've definitely, juniya, lavanaya, doesn't mean I will forget people who were so important to me once. I miss them..  We had so many beautiful memories together!  But now it's not my time to worry about it :) Work hard so finally you can happily call them ...

How more beautiful the day can get :) I woke up at 5 am, fixed my sleep. Pooped, had some biscuits and had a great smile at the mirror, and sky looks so amazing, i realised a new spot in my room where i could see the sky more.. and the sky looks amazing and the moon is there :) I am having tum ho song in the background 

It's our first post in 2025 lol. No lol it's second But guess what, we are happier than ever before.. Not like in a perfect way.  But I am loving who she is..she's cool. Well we'll... Happier :) Dad, mom, bro, family :) It's not perfect but it's better than how it was... Anagha has gotten to be more self awareness .. She's able to be herself.. Why hide a part of you. The world is yours pretty :)  Yesterdays incident . I think nothing to regret. Within limits it's fun. I mean bro's a good person it seems :) But yes know your limits Anagha.  Well you're chill anagha.. knowing yourself more.. I love it. I'm loving it. I know things weren't easy for you. But such is life.. we have to grow outgrow it :)  Own your self Well own your 26 pretty self cutie🤪 Well kinda when he said I am knowing your personality more it's adorable.  I mean not just a boring padippi doctor. I'm more than that. I'm fun. My interest, my books, my fun sides...

I don't know fast did time flew by... Last almost 2 years.  Like really. I don't wanna think about it.  But two years almost stuck at home... And among the all.. Most importantly beautiful memories I cherished is my dad and franzie :) I got to know myself, but also went through a downhill..   I don't even wanna think about what life made me go through tbh. I made peace with so many things. :)  I do hope I find tommy sometime along the way.  I do wish I had started this usmle preparing sooner.. but it took me almost 1 year and four months to actually decide. Now I shouldn't let go right.. do not let go.  You'll match, you'll be fine. :) just keep swimming 

We can't resist by resisting. We can win only by working out a plan. Resisting pain will only give you pain. Life is 10%` what happens and rest 90% you have to decide.  I know it's a whole lot of things that has been happening in this one year. .. .  My man  Life's brutal but you also gotta be Brutal and tough back at it...  You can always turn your life around.  It's all about what kind of glasses you decide to wear ! 

Affirming to myself  I know who I had and who i didn't and. And who i don't want in my life and who i do.  It's necessary and it's valid.  No need to evade that and i won't betray mysel. I don't live in the past anymore and there's a big future ahead anagha :)  Keep shining 🌟  You don't need old wrecks :)  They ain't your people and honestly changing my number was the best thing that ever happened ;) I know my people the one or two :) Nair, vj, anju, thraya, my family, molus and family :) of course sneha too, a friend i actually count in.  Only people who were there with me in worst times will be able to cherish me. Everything else is just background noise and honestly glad that I've got to realise.  I don't let things start to raise their head after this.  If they want a companionship go else where. I'm not their person or their friend. 

Keep going.  You're closer than ever before. A tiny tiny sprint is all you need my dear princess  Don't let your mind fool you.  Everything you want is on other side of this. Keep going 

Just recovered from this rat race depression. I mean all i want is just a happy little life tbh... The more i kept myself away from shitty people I used to know. People it is my life. And i like to keep it that way.  Well just because you were linked some time in the past doesn't mean you've keep them all along.. Sometimes just have a smile and move on it's that simple.  And the life i just want.. I can't imagine what these fuckers made me go through in this last few months.  My own parents. Their own insanity, well I'm looking forward to inicet because it'll give me an opportunity when I can finally get away from this place. Can't even imagine settling down here .stupid fucking country. I just want a small peaceful life... And Tommy along the way :)