They are nice people, but I wish they were better. Deep inside yeah I love them and thankful for everything they did for me, if it was without my parents I would have never gotten this far. Thankful to all their hardships and sacrifices for me. But they are not the best parents, they really don't know what exactly a kid need, its not materialistic love, it's more like emotional support. As a kid they never bothered to ask how I was feeling or all the lovely things a parent would ask their little ones. I grew up emotionally distant from them, now it's a big gap, they can never fill this anymore, that void will be always there. I never shared my problems with them and I never will. That connection has to be established in childhood, now I can't ever be close to them, there's always that gap, I'm shy or I don't feel like I should talk to them about my problems, they wouldn't understand.. they don't know what's a good parenting is. I'm pretty sure I can never be a good parent too. also I don't want to deal with a kid's life and his responsibilities, I can't be responsible for it, so I'm never going to have kids. I just want to live happily without worrying about another person life's who is going to imbibe all my traits and part of my personality. There's nobody I could relay on for my emotional support, my parents won't understand, my real life friends are fake as fuck. I hate my real life friends. But I just have to pretend to like them else I will have nobody else to hang out with. So yeah due to bad emotionally unsupportive parents my adulthood is going in a really bad shape. I wish I could fix this.
All is that I know nothing! It's too easy to become proud of little you know. But how funny it is for early all years of our life, it's that we are gaining experiences and just knowing to be you and how to make better decisions and grow and you know how to just survive life. I know life is a beautiful beautiful thing! I have been blessed with truly wonderful family if I'm being honest, I haven't really made know what's it is not to struggle. Well I am not all blessed in some other ways, I had struggle so much with my self esteem, I just didn't knew who i was for the 24 years of my life. Only very recently I started to love myself and you know who I am. It's been a journey. Truly a journey of learning and unlearning. It's so crazy like how they say, we know up, imbibe and for teenage you struggle to find the you, and early 20s your transformative year. Personally 21 to 24 was horrible as well. 24 was fun, but I was too superficial. In life what we all s...
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