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I really wish I had friends..😓 umm.. yea there were enough opportunities but I was unable to make use of it because of my anxiety and low self confidence rooting from my fucking childhood traumas. I wish things were better, I wish there was someone special in my life with whom I can say anything without having a feeling of guilty because I feel like I'm a burden to them and they aren't interested in me.
Quora was a great platform, there too I messed it up, I wish my 20s were more fun than this, I dont want to settle for this monotonous life, I wish there were something interesting. I know I shouldn't give, and future,that's the only hope, thats why I move ahead everyday irrespective of these struggles in my daily life, 
I know I got to nurture myself, but what sucks is that I keep going to my old habits, 
I just feel tired mentally and physically I wish I could write more and Express my feelings, but nah, I'm just tired..  let me sleepppp..  😥 forever ? No maybe a nap.. forever sleep isnt not now... I havent even experienced anything in life, theres more to life, wait, one day your time will come.. I know you're struggling but dont give up, I got you, hold fast to hope. Future hold better things :) I'm sure one day your dreams will come true..

Wait hold on, let me tell you something.. its extra amazing that I write so voraciously on this blog, but fucked up with anxiety and self conscious about posting in quora, that shows how much deep my anxiety is, it's all within my mind, if I conquer my mind and don't give a shit about peoples nuisances my life would have been much better....

Again one more thing, its heart breaking thought, I mean I know I'm a interesting perosn and I've a lot of things to say, but barely anyone to listen to my topic of interests.. 
Why am I getting wasted away? Why should I settle for that set up friends who barely know me.. they doesn't know who or what anagha is in real... 
They know the social awkward wierd anxious anagha..they never bothered to get to know me.. neither I tried too..
Well I still remember a thing one of my friend told me, you're a nice person, let them know you,  it's one of the most happiest compliment I've ever received in my mind. Honestly I dont think I'd be ever this happy if they had compliment me about my appearance, because I know what I'm, I dont want to be the most gorgeous person but I value and respect inner worth, so when another perosn is also able to realise that she told me that, I was so gald.. it's TRUE that, I never let people know the real me, because honestly I was scared, fear of rejection, inadequacy, I'm not enough to be their friend, I'm ugly, everything rooting from my low self esteem,
I wish i could really be myself in public.. then my life would have been much better... 
Reading about other people's life, I'm realizing what I'm missing out in my life..
I wish... oh jesus, I wish things were better. Atleast a soul in this earth who really understands me and my worth, I wish I was confident enough to realize my worth and things on my own..  
Fuck you ANXIETY. 
I DO NOT own you, I hope and I'm trying to get rid of this...

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