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So it's going great, its December 24th, christmas Eve. People around the world are having family get together, jingle bells, busy decorating the xmas tress, people building snow man, people falling in love, making love, people purchasing goodies, people laughing, eating, walking around the streets with their loved ones, joking, watching movies together, so on.. what not..  
People are having the best time of their lives.. well sadly, it goes only for rich and affluent people..
People from economically lower income and poverty are struggling each day to make it into next day, nobody remembers them,... my heart goes for them.. 
Also to the Lonely people around the world like me, who is laying in the bed in darkness, struggling with her thoughts and impending feeling of missing out making good memories in this lovely Christmas times.. 
Well christmas isn't Christmas anymore for me.. 
Rather I'm more depressed on these special days.. I get that anxious feeling of missing out, this day is nothing but a normal day for us, like everyday my grandma and mom is watching the serials, brother playing video games and me in my room with all these thoughts.. 
social media is so awful, people trying to shade out only the positive side kind of gives me even more sadness.. 
Umm I miss the younger days, 7 years back I was 13 years old. I was a lovely cheerful girl with full of life and energy, on Christmas days me and brother was busy putting up the x'mas tree and Christmas Crib..  sadly that days are over.. not gonna come back anymore.. also that nice bonding with my brother, and the memories we cherished together is also long lost.. 
That little girl never knew the Adulthood she anticipated was gonna be like this.. 
I feel sorry for her. 
I'm sorry younger me, I kind of messed up your life, I wish I was stronger and full of liveliness..

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