Why is it life so hard, yea I'm trying my best to stop being so dramatic and posting in social media. I think it's no use, nobody cares, I've been through worse but nobody cares, 

Friends what for ? They barley cares, I dont like them anyways, I don't vibe with them or they have barely anything that interests me.

I wish things were better. I'm trying a part but sometimes it seems like nothing is going right, healing takes time and  it can be harsh too sometimes, but sometimes this lonely feeling is overwhelming I have to pretend to be strong infront of all assholes who is trying to put me down. Remember not everyone is your friend. Neither you own anyone any explanation.

I wish I could see myself as beautiful and smart, and realise my inner worth, why is that why am I seeing myself on the lowest level?? Even though I'm doing okay but why is this feeling dragging me down always, I wish I was kinder to myself and respected myself better. 

I know childhood but I'm no more holding onto it. I need to rewire my subconscious mind, but its damn hard you know.. 

I wish there was atleast someone in this world listening to me and hearing to my words and curious to know more me. Unfortunately no one just no one... 

And I'm sorry parents, you did bad parenting job, but you guys tried to love us and give us inefficient love but those failed love kinda tainted my life.. 

Fuck. Right now I wish I was away from this burden of whole lot of study stress, I wish I wasn't lonely, I wish I had a friend, I wish I wasn't alone in this world, I wish someone genuinely loved me and made time to listen to me.. 

I know there's lot of people in this world and some of them will genuinely like to talk to me find me amazing, but the hardest part to realise is that life is filled with lot of twists and curls, I never know whether if life will ever offer me any chance to meet them. 

How stupid of me is that, we fall for good looks rather than for a nice personality. That's really gonna ruin my life. How do I rewire my mind such as to stop all that beliefs, I have to blame my family for that, they injected all those useless things in my young mind, it's hard to unlearn, but I can try. 

I wish someone was there with me now, so we could go out and sit on the sea shore and talk about the waves, sky, goals, aspirations, childhood, things you believed as a kid, things that scared you, things that amazes you, things that grosses you out, so on.. I just want to meet an interesting person with lot of views and perceptions about life around. Not a dumbo hot guy..