when you grow up in a dysfunctional life, you end being a people pleaser, you want to feel accepted and appreciated, because whole life you were taught you were not enough,
or idk its hard to be a nice person, i try to be empathetic and fucking ...
its a fucking disgrace its people always in my head, i am always in a deep delusion about people.
i don't like this life, but i will not give up.
i am pretty sure i am not always right, sometimes its me and my thoughts thats strangulating myself, my delusional thoughts thats ruining my life, i dont know, how can i build myself once again, i dont know to whom to turn or where to ask for help, nobody seems to help me, but i will hold for my loving mom who love me so much, my loving dad who have a lot of hopes on me, for my brother although we dont express too much but we are there for each other, lately i realised so much how much he helped me to drop me at college and stuff, its the real love and not what kind of thing you are searching for in college, for my granma who is so innocent and love us genuinely, oh god, i pray for her well being.
and my immediate family.
and other than these i dont ow anyone else in this world,
i wish i could atleast be confident atleast for a day, to live for myself instead of searching for peoples acceptance, sometimes it feels that i am so stupid, i do wrong things often , maybe everyone does? i am just too harsh on myself? i dont know
i wish there was someone to tell all this and figure out myself and my thoughs and clear out my delutional thoughts
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