hi redditor, i might be a familiar face to you on reddit, because i used to post here every now and then. now it's time for me to say a GOODBYE. please read the comment i wrote under this pic (incase if you're interested in knowing why)✨ Ty.😊
First of all, a happy news is i made it to final year of my med school in India and will become a doctor in a year☺️.
From feeling the dumbest and grumpiest girl to this is something i never imagined myself to be in.
I don't think I'm very intelligent, but i really worked with my average brain to keep up with the struggle to be successful.
So yea, this makes me so busy in coming days so i decided to delete this account, btw that's a reason...
But most importantly read this :)
Thank you very much for making me realise I'm beautiful, I'm enough, I'm good enough to look at, some said I'm attractive enough that they surely would have approached me in RL...
It's actually sad for me to leave this account 😢 in many ways, this place genuinely contributed a lot to who I'm now. I mean 6 months back i made my first ever post here... And i really wasn't looking for attention when i posted that, rather i genuinely wanted to know whether i was ugly, or will anyone ever find me attractive.
But holy sh!t, 😂 the pic blew up with so many upvotes and appreciation than i ever imagined, i don't know why, maybe its because of that honest title i gave so people were so moved to write lovely comments..
And the next day, i even skipped my class to reply Thanks to most comments and chats i got.
Since then it was a slow gradual transition. I do still worry and cry about my appearance sometimes, but i think there's a big change in how i view myself.
I used to think external validations are temporary, in a way it's true, but more importantly it'll definitely help initially, if harsh words you hear as a kid from others can kill your confidence and self esteem, surely kind and supportive words from others can again help you to build that broken self esteem..
I am partly still insecure it takes time, but i don't feel very ugly often.. now i just know my low perception about myself are only mine. And people don't view me the same.
I ain't exaggerating abou how harsh my life was, people in India really consider you unattractive if you're not fair in complexion. I had my tough journey too, from a little girl who was constantly made to feel inferior and hideous, that feelings and emotions slowly i internalised, i am ugly, incapable and worthless. That was my autopilot thought always. So i avoided interacting with people much, my social skills in real life is so poor, although i love to communicate and be an introvert, my shyness prevented me from making friends and thereby i am a loner in RL.
In my country, people are pretty conservative so if you're not very fair, hardly anyone will approch you or least chances for you to be in a relationship, i never had anyone asking me out in RL either.. and eventually you can get settle down in life only by arranged marriages, that's a flawed system so imo marrying guys through such system, most times they are conservative as well plus will treat you inferior.
( Well, people might have good things to say about India, surely, there's some good people everywhere, but sorry i want to move away from here asap, life isn't great, my experiences and pain i endured are only mine)
Honestly i would have loved to keep this account, Because i really love to re read through all the beautiful comments random kind starngers left on my pics. But always this is going to be a good decision for my future.
Considering there's a plenty of exams and things i have to keep up with on a daily basis..
Along with that, i am working on a medical licensing exam to move abroad.
So along with all the academic stress...
It's it's better to keep a check on how i use my time, i feel like lately I've been priorizing reddit a lot and wasting time aimlessly,
Looking for self assurance is not bad, sometimes we all need companies, I'm grateful for the good conversations i ever had here, but also i had encountered twice the amount creepy men here, being a attention seeker and flirting with random guys is not what i want to do with my life...
not only that, I've been thinking about it while I'm studying thereby i take a long time to read through the chapters as in the back of myind, there's always thoughts about like, " when should I post next pic, why didn't he replied to my text, or worrying about someone who ghosted me a while back, and i might be thinking i might have said something stupid.
I had encountered plenty of creeps, who had tried to make use of my vulnerability and all they wanted was some fun. This isn't for them, but trust me i surely wasn't here for such kind of NSFW fun.
This post is meant for all the genuine people who always appreciated me, left kind comments on my various pics ( which i deleted now). I wish I could screenshot all the comment, but sadly it'll take a lot of time and effort. So i did took screenshot of most important compliments 😊.
I won't ever meet any of you in my real life, but good to know about you all....
And to Americans... 90% of people who ever texted me were from the US, thanks lol, good to know tht you guys are very open minded and less judgemental and have very wide perspective about about beautiful and told me it isn't always about the colour.. thank you.😢...
I have no idea how to express more. but reddit had helped me to feel confident than people in my RL ever did.
Well this is the end 🙂🙌..
I thought i need a count down or else I'll keep coming back, a week from now I'll delete this account. Thank you very much to all the kind strangers🥰🥰🥰.
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