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Eda, i couldn't patunila. Atha i decided to text. Sheirkum, last one two months enth happy ayi iruna njana. But sudden dip and anxiety, ee oru crucial time il.. I just wish I could stop this i can't afford to waste this precious time. Before this happened I was very self aware and I knew my mind and how to get of thoughts, ithipo ela control poye pole und..I just can't control my mind. Lots of fears also, if i close my eyes intrusive thoughts and scary feelings oke varum. Nalla oru shit phase aya pole und. How little someone's tiny actions lead to severe consequences in someone's life... 
Mune anel enik ariyam ayirneda like irrational thoughts varum and it doesn't matter enoke. But now entho it's so patunila. Njan enth Cheyana ee oru crucial time il. 
Main presham entha en chodicha an already worried ayit irika ayirn, and I made myself up and started studying and getting on track apola avlde oru sahaya message ayit vane, and then, onwards I felt like I'm lagging behind. Theruo en oru pedi. But pedichit entha alle karyam. Nammale kond patune maximum cheyanam.. Athil alle karyam. If we do our best, irregardless of everything universe will help us alleda? Anethe ani depressants ivide irup und. Kazhikano en vicharikua. Cuz I can't afford to inganeda. Ithra kashtapete past months verthe akum. Ee time poyal. 

I just can't stay postive. I'm trying, but ente chill me nashtam aya pole und. But honestly it's never lost, it's just hidden alle. We just have to find it back 

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