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hey there again! upadate !

Fuck it buddy, things got so rough now. Past week was amazing
 But yeah for reason I don't know why but yeah it corresponds with my mother, after that day onwards shit started to fall apart or idk if it's because anything else. 
But yeh motivation has been down lately and struggling so hard to survive. 
Fuck it. My life fuck it. 
I don't know why I'm even doing this, because I don't wanna be a failure.. honestly it feels like i don't even wanna be here. I hate shit load people around here. But yeah idk. Perhaps maybe because all day I'm sitting all day at home. 
Well I'm glad plast 2.3 months has been not like this, but I was deeply interested in what I did and was sane. I hope i retruve that girl back, because with her this is so hard to go forward any longer.
Especially because of the conflicting thoughts and views. Well things wasn't like this a month back especially when I had a lot to finish yet I was motivated now I finished 99% of all of that atleast 80% but fuck you for feelings like this cuz you worked so hard to get here. Don't fucking ruin it. No matter what. Yeah it seems so hard
I hope I get back to that strong girl again. Well I already I'm. I just need to discover her.. she's always in me :) 
Just be chill kutta :)
 
And that person I don't know but when things get rough sometimes I wish I really do hope i meet him somewhere along the way. Just to be treated nice and care about. I have realised so many shit happened in life because I live along with family especially my mom and unhealed me. Tbh i have been through enough shit means enough shit tbh. I don't wanna put myself through that. But yeah maybe everything will be worth it. I don't know. 

Well I know I'm a fool which i definitely agree and I am trying to grow out of the fool I'm. 
But against fool I'm i mean almost 99% people are too, one thing I know is action and momentum, you want something fucking to happen, if you don't do nothing will happen. You can't fucking ask universe to move. You have to fucking get your ass up and do it. 
I wanna get myself out of this shit nd for that all I can do is, this shit, yeah here we go shit. 
Anagha will fucking do her her best nothing else. However what ever. 
While saving herself anagha will keep the momentum going and she'll do her best. Because she knows nothing is fucking going to happen if she don't do it nd you never know how close you're to the thing you want 😉

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