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See this prep phase per se was truly life changing, it helped me grow into a person i wanted to be.
But surving each day wasn't the easiest. 
Each day has different things to offer..
I mean i had a phase when I was truly happy and just driven..I'm still driven but some feelings still scares. 
I truly mean it when i say I don't wanna work here. I don't dream of just doing that mundane thing forever and forever when I could be doing something else with my life. But listen, is there any significance or point just going in that loop. 
I know now it all seems far and now might seem uncomfortable trust, last month, that that you watched the ted and sat here on the upstairs or the days when you couldn't hold on, or the day you sat here, 

Those are all just beautiful memories now. Just like that this shall pass too, the point is you learn from it, and learn to push through..then it seemed like a big deal. You alone dealt with it on your own..
I know, g

It's not lost like it might seem to you, better than rushing maybe take a few moments to relax and then start learning. I know it does overwhelming after all you're a human as well. It can get tiring. Don't think of anything. 
It's not like we can't be 100% productive all the time. Just give your best, that's it. And mind., dad. I know a mishap happened last day. I really sorry dad. I truly am, sometimes it just happens, 
So I'll try to be nicer to you! 
Well time is just a collection of your mind recording experiences you know...
It goes like.. 
Don't fret over what happened or what you never appreciated. I mean still this is going on if you don't do it now either. I'll be never ever. I know this prep phase is stressful. 
Don't think too much, see in May and all, when you haven't even reached anywhere yet, you were happier and content and now I don't know why but you seem be a bit down at times. 
Just give your best that's it. 
N
It's not just about the exam. You know it's been a month, since being at home, just that's fine..
You are definitely at a better place. But yeah sometimes mind likes to fixate on something and wish for it. 

If I'm being honest the day class stopped that's when changed started. 
March - was a beautiful month, despite just starting the preparation, i thought I had it all. 

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