I'm just having a lot of thoughts.
How lucky I am. How considerate my parents are..
Even tho I'm not kind to them.
I do love them in my mind but I know I come off as an asshole infront of them.
I do care about them. But to face i talk very rudely to them :/ I wish I wasn't. I sometimes don't talk because whenever I talk to my mom it's in rude tone it's dominant tone. Hence to not to be harsh to her sometimes i don't talk.
The way how she spent money for me today without even looking for the price tag.. I mean I am their daughter. By the virtue of being born to them.
They have done a lot for me.
I know we aren't friends. I wish we were. I am pretty chill person. But due to the family upbringing I grew up in, it's hard for me to show my vulnerability to them. I just talk to rudely to them. In their presence i always shout to them.
Tons of things that they've done for me. I can't even recall a single time I've been like the child they wanted. It's not my mistake that I turned out this way. It's circumstances.
But growing up in poverty, they struggled to give me and my brother this life... They've come so far in life.
By virtue of being born... Poor molu, shalu Chetan, Saranya chechi and all, I do feel sorry for them time to time, I did had the opportunity to pursue a lot of things, which infact made available by my parents.
I'm grateful 🥲
I think I'm blessed. :) like grateful to have my loving parents, relatives etc.
My late grandparents :)
My brother..
Friends I used to have ! ( Well it's my decision solely that I decided to cut them off) But definitely
It's not like life was a piece of cake walk for me anyway. I only know what I struggled through in those fucking five years of agony. Well I'm glad to have cut those ties in a way. I wanted to outgrow, grow and start over my life. Now I'm grateful for where I am and tiny circle of people i have and new friends I have made...
I hope things work out. I hope good things fall into place. I believe there's a reason for everything. :)
Well we started this conversation with my parents, how i should be more grateful and treat them with kindness.
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